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Be Bad at Something

Detoxifying Success
Detoxifying Success

Rockstar of the Week!


Phoenix: Plant Manager with over 15 years at one manufacturing company overseeing a team of over 30 employees. Zero percent injury rate for over 10 years.


If you have a hiring need for this individual, want to be a rockstar of the week, or need help with anything else, email me at rob@zarrellco.com


The other night my dad performed at a comedy club for the first time. He doesn’t know I know yet, and he definitely doesn’t know you now know too.

I found out because I was on the phone with my brother. “Did you hear about Dad’s comedy show?” he asked. 


Then he immediately backpedaled -“Oh, I wasn’t supposed to tell you. He doesn’t want anyone to know.” I was surprised but asked: “Well… how was it?”

Apparently, my dad had a couple drinks beforehand and said his humor was very different from some of the other comedians in the room. He wouldn’t let anyone in the family attend, and he’s not sure he’ll do it again.

For context, my dad is an absolutely hilarious goofball of a man. He has an impressive amount of ADHD and rarely provides any context when he’s telling a story. At my wedding though, he gave one of the best speeches I’ve ever heard and had everyone in the room laughing.


He, like many of us, is afraid to be bad at something. Especially if it’s something he genuinely wants to do.


I think it’s safe to say we’ve all been there. We want to be perfect, or at least amazing, right out of the gate. But that’s not how it works. You don’t get to be good at something without first being bad at it. You try, you repeat, and over time, you improve.

What makes it worse is when we feel ashamed for not being good at something right away. That embarrassment can stick with us if we let it, and it can stop us from trying again.


Very few people are amazing at construction management, sales, property management, IT, or marketing in their first or second year. It takes time. I wasn’t wonderful at recruiting during my first year.


Everything takes time and the more we practice, the better we get.

I’m really rooting for my dad’s comedy career to take off. I’ve never had a rich dad, but I feel like it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.


Sami’s Take

This topic is special to me for so many reasons. First of all, to brag a little, I’m one of those people that can pick up a lot of things and be “good” at it on my first try. It’s something I love about myself and it definitely boosts the ego and also makes some people hate me. I get it.


And from the outside looking in, it may seem I never suffer from this issue, but me having this tendency is actually the reason I feel this phenomenon even stronger. 

Though there are many things in the creative world I can pick up with grace my first time around, there are certain things I really struggle with and a lot of those things are “mundane” skills for many.


The embarrassment of being bad at the things most people find simple has brought me so much shame in my life. 


I have spatial-sequence Synesthesia which is a big part of why I’m so good with writing, art, music, and a lot of mechanical things. Being a gifted creative is great, but this Synesthesia also leaves me fumbling and red faced anytime numbers get involved. Numbers are involved in a lot of things. 


The automatic and involuntary spatial visualization I have with numbers gets in my way when people expect me to follow what they deem a “simple and elementary” task. They say that because they mastered it in elementary school. Unfortunately for me, I’ve struggled with number based tasks like measuring, fractions, basic calculations, and tracking time since elementary school. 


I often used my giftedness in other subjects to cover for my massive inadequacy with numbers. For a long time my block with math and numbers was my deep, dark secret. Teachers would just assume I didn’t like math or would blame my lower grades on other life events rather than noticing I just couldn’t follow their methods. To be honest with you, I believe my Synesthesia could be a huge benefit for me when doing math but only if I’m able to develop my own methods. I was never so lucky as a kid and so, I never truly learned. 


I used to panic at the thought of being an adult who still didn’t know how to do basic math. How lucky am I that the world created pocket sized phones with built in calculators? Phew. But that shame still lingers and I feel it pop up anytime I’m at a register and need to make change, or when it’s time to leave a tip, or even in my creative work when someone asks me for dimensions on my artwork. This is still a problem for me today in my 30’s. 


You might be thinking, “Okay, so you’re bad at math. What does that have to do with the fear of being bad at something new?” Well, this lifelong math problem has caused me to avoid trying anything that I’ve thought might involve math.


There was a time I thought it might be fun to be an architect, but the thought of having to measure and draw in perfect proportions shook the idea right out of my head. I’ve had day dreams of being a scientist, a researcher, a baker, even a teacher but the idea of even trying shattered to a million pieces when I realized I’d have to face math at some point. The thought of having one embarrassing moment with numbers has been enough for me to avoid trying anything where it may come up. 


It’s not fun and I don’t see it getting any easier for me the longer I put off mastering it. The fear of being bad at math even with my own methods is scary for me. I don’t want to be bad at it and I don’t want people to judge me for being a grown adult who still can’t add simple numbers in my head. Mostly, I think I feel so gross about this because I know if I started to try, I’d eventually find a way that works for me and then I wouldn’t be “bad” at it anymore. I just haven’t started letting myself be bad at math as an adult. But I guess now is the time to get to it! I’ll report back on my progress in a few weeks. I’m sure it’ll be rough for a while, but that’s okay. That’s what learning is about- being bad for a while until one day we figure it out.


Let us know: what are you afraid to be bad at? 


Rob + Sami


If you're looking for a job or having trouble hiring please email me at rob@zarrellco.com


 
 
 

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